Hopefully, you've had time now to test out that little exercise I'd suggested around whether or not your core beliefs are perhaps misleading, or, in fact, wildly inaccurate. I'm hoping you're able to notice some distance between where you feel and where you objectively are. Now, if you manage to do that, and see that, you know, these negative child appraisals that form within us can determine our behaviours for the rest of our life if we're not careful, and not necessarily in a positive way. Think about what perfectionism has done for you. And many people will hold some positive beliefs about perfectionism. Absolutely, it can drive us towards achieving great things, it can drive us towards these high standards that can be admired by others, it can lead us towards a feeling of acceptance, or achievement in the workplace, for example.

Now, I'm not really questioning that, I think it's really a case of us noticing where it's helpful, and when it sort of starts to tip into the realm of unhelpful. And many people with ADHD will talk about needing to overdo it, which leads to stress in the workplace, which will lead to anxiety and work in particular, but not just work can become a very, very stressful environment for the way in which we tend to work and tend to operate around our neuro-diversity or to compensate for it in some way.

So if you were able to discover that there's a disparity between your negative belief and how it makes you feel, and where you actually objectively might be on that spectrum, I want you to ask yourself the question, "if my core belief is false, then why do I need to do things so perfectly"? Why do I need to strive for such high, unrelenting standards? Because I'm willing to bet it doesn't matter how high you go, how much you strive for that perfection, your brain just tips it out of reach, so it's never quite enough.

Ask yourself the question "will it ever be enough?" And if you feel like it's never enough, it's because your brain won't let it be because it's seeking to validate the negative belief, because that's what it's always done. Once the core belief forms, our brain seeks to validate it and seeks to maintain it constantly by filtering information. But it's an interesting question, isn't it? If my core beliefs are inaccurate and false, the negative ones that is, then why do I need to do all this unhelpful stuff?