Welcome back to day eight of ADHD and relationships. Over the past week, we've been kind of talking about how ADHD impacts is how it impacts our relationship. And this, we've been kind of talking about two key things of RSD and emotions, which are two of the most influential things when it comes to ADHD, and our topic today: conflict.Usually, when a conflict happens, when it comes to ADHD, they are due to kind of that emotional regulation, the sense of rejection, organisation, prioritising, flexibility so all of those amazing executive functions. Something I seem to notice when conflict happens, it is usually down to executive functions. However, that means we can do something about it. However, sometimes the conflict after time could cause what we call a dynamic in a relationship. And the main one that I see with people with ADHD is parent-child dynamic, where the non-ADHD partner almost feels like they have to parent the ADHD partner, because they need to look after them, they need to do all their executive function things. They need to nag at them, they need to say this say to say that they need to keep on track of their schedule, they need to do all the things. And that gives the person ADHD, this sense of being a child of being told what to do or being told what time to do this having not much control. And when it can cause that dynamic, it can be really hard. Another one I see is two passes ships where we're living in the same house, but we're not really communicating, it's got to the point where we're just stopped. Two wolves constantly at each other, two partners that both have ADHD, and nothing seems to happen. And everyone's got different types of ADHD that we can't really understand, one needs to process one might have loud sounds which causes conflict.However, ADHD or not, what do we want in a relationship? We want to be equal, right? We want to have equal partnership, equal ownership of who we are. And together. And what I find is that usually people argue over the small things like cleaning, or time management, or getting out the house on time, or who takes the bin out tonight. And if it's executive function, it means we can do something about it, we can move forward, we can put support in place, we can find a strategy. And the thing is, you don't want to sit in this conflict for too long. Because that's when those dynamics and those changes happen. And when you sit in them for too long, they become harder and harder to get out of.And what we're going to do tomorrow is we're going to take that next step into kind of communication, which is the key core of conflict, the key core of everything we'll be talking about. But I want you to have a think of what we've done so far in this course, understanding each other, pausing for emotions, reframing, thinking about how your ADHD partner thinks, what do you love about your partner? And think of yourself right now, is this conflict in the moment worth it? Is it worth it? I met a couple once. And they've been arguing about one thing for a whole week. They weren't talking, they got to the point of it being kind of blame and angry at each other. And I sat them down, and I said to them, "What was this about?" And they said "he, yet again, didn't take the washing out of the washing machine." And I looked at them. And I said, "Okay, that's valid. But take a step back. Your relationship has been arguing for one week, over washing." And all it was was he forgot that the washing had finished. We came up with a strategy and he never left the washing in there again. But the key is, was all that week of arguing and everything worth it? Think about the conflicts that you and your partner have had. Was it worth it?